


Two and a Half Kings

by StrongBrush1



Category: Kirby (Video Games), Super Mario Bros. (Video Games), Super Smash Brothers
Genre: F/M, Father-Son Relationship, Fisting, Gay Sex, M/M, Two Fathers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-10 08:08:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14733185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StrongBrush1/pseuds/StrongBrush1
Summary: King Bowser is a single father who has been trying desperately to find a suitable wife who can help him raise his son. But, when the larger-than-life ruler of a foreign land comes by to discuss "diplomacy", Bowser starts to think that maybe what he needs is a good husband.





	Two and a Half Kings

The Koopa King walked through the hallways of Peach's castle. The Toad brigade had been called into action, but he assured them that he was not here to cause any trouble. The Toads, though suspicious, escorted him to the throne room of Princess Peach's castle.  
Bowser was not having a great day today. His son, Junior, was busy throwing a hissy fit because he had gotten in trouble at school. He was told it was because Junior had tried to breathe fire on a fellow student. Bowser had spent most of the day trying to convince the boy's teacher not to suspend him, a battle which had been hard fought and barely won. However, Junior would still have to come in for detention on Saturday, and Bowser had barred him from playing any video games for a week, a fact which made the boy very upset. And when Bowser Koopa, Junior, got upset, he got loud, spreading his frustration and misery to everyone within earshot.  
Something had occured to Bowser recently. He had to get it off his chest, and specifically, he had to tell it to Peach.  
Bowser opened the doors of the throne room, seeing none other than Mario "Jumpman" Fissatore, and his twin brother Luigi. They immediately took notice of him and got into battle stances.

"Cut the heroic stuff, I'm not here to fight. I just want to talk to Peach."  
Mario's gut instinct was, of course, not to believe anything Bowser said, but the complete earnestness of his statement was causing him to rethink the situation. "What do you want-a to talk about?"  
"It's about us. Well, us and you two."  
Princess Peach entered, cautiously. She was told Bowser was not here to cause trouble but she somehow doubted it. "Bowser," she said, "you wanted to talk to me?"  
Bowser took a deep breath and sighed. "Peach, I wanted to apologize to you."  
"Is that all? You wanted to apologize ?"  
"That's not all, but I wanted to apologize for the way I've treated you all these years. See, I'm a single parent. It's stressful on me, and I had always hoped that maybe after spending some time in my castle, you would maybe want to stay and help me raise Bowser Junior. But... it was wrong of me to do what I did. I'm sorry for kidnapping you, like 50 times."  
"That's why you kept kidnapping me? You thought Junior just needed a mother?"  
"Yeah. I see now that it was unfair to place that burden on you, especially after doing something so rash."  
"Well, that's... mature of you to say so. But why tell me this now?"  
"Because tonight, for the first time in years, I have a date. Didn't want to burn this bridge until I had another to cross."  
Mario crossed his arms. "In other words, you didn't want-a to come out of this with a loss."  
Bowser shot Mario a look. "Yes, but I also do feel terrible about kidnapping Peach. Thought you'd be happy that I'm not standing between you and your girlfriend anymore."  
Mario had no response to this other than resigned embarrassment.  
"So, long story short, won't be bothering you again anytime soon. I give. And now I shall take my leave."  
Bowser walked out unceremoniously. No one in the Mushroom Kingdom could have prepared for this. Not Mario, not Peach, not the Toads, nobody.  
"So," Mario quietly asked Peach, "Are you-a doing anything tonight?"

Back at his own castle, Bowser sat waiting impatiently by the door. He had left Junior with a babysitter (well, Kammy Koopa, for whatever that was worth) in preparation for the date. His date was supposed to be here at 6:00. It was now 6:05. He began to get simultaneously worried and angry that he had been stood up. How insulting! Who would DARE stand up the Great King Bowser? Ingrate! Heretic! Why, he ought to-  
And then there was a loud knock on the door. Bowser's anger quickly subsided. He turned on what he considered to be charm. After all, first impressions were important when going on dates. He adjusted his white tuxedo (left over from his last attempt to steal Peach for himself), and opened the door.  
"Hello, beautiful," said Bowser, expecting that his assessment would be true enough. He hadn't actually known what his date would look like, or even the name of his date. They had been almost exclusive communicating online as 'xx_Lord_Bowz_xx' and 'TripleD3'.  
"King Bowser!" responded a deep, bombastic voice. "How's my favorite koopa doing?"  
Bowser took a good long look in front of him. Standing in the doorway was the self-proclaimed monarch of Dreamland, King Dedede. "Oh, it's you. I remember you."  
"Yep. Good old me, King Dedede! So, your highness, may I come in?"  
"Listen, D, no offense, but I can't really have you around right now. I have a date coming tonight."  
Dedede took a second to register the situation. Then he laughed so hard his over-sized belly looked like it would burst through his belt. "Oh, you had no idea, did you...?"  
"No idea-" Bowser then made the connection. "Wait, don't tell me. You're 'TripleD3', aren't you?"  
"Took you long enough to figure it out."  
Bowser was not happy. "If this is your idea of a prank, D, it's not funny. I got all dressed up and everything!"  
Dedede smiled. Not mischievously, just happily. "You didn't have to get all dressed up on my account."  
"Look, what are you even doing here?"  
"Do I really have to spell it out for you? I'm here for our date."  
Bowser stared at Dedede with wide eyes. Now that the situation was completely explained, he felt like an idiot. Never once during the chat did he ask for a real name, or if the person he was talking to was female. It had simply never occurred to him to ask such questions. He had known that Dedede, along with Meta Knight, and Kirby, were very free-spoken about sex and romance. It had never occurred to him that maybe Dedede was interested in him. "D... I, uh..."  
Dedede began to worry he came on too strong. "What's the matter, Bow-Wow? Not interested anymore?"  
"I guess I just wasn't expecting you, of all people. I've never really dated a guy before."  
"It's not that different from dating a girl. I should know, I've dated about half of my kingdom."  
Bowser thought about this and decided to give the date a shot. "Well, you did come all this way, and I've got no other plans tonight. Come in, I think dinner's almost ready."

Bowser had laid out a huge banquet at his dining room table. His team of koopa chefs had been hard at work to get this dinner prepared and when they saw that Bowser and Dedede were at the table, they became very happy that at the very least, no food would go to waste. A selection of goomba servers waited hand and foot (so to speak) on the penguin and the turtle as they chomped away on different roasted meats, pastas, stews and desserts.  
Dedede picked up a drumstick which appear to be covered in red spices. He liked chicken, so he stripped the meat from the bone with one huge bite. He chewed for five seconds and then he started to sweat. His face turned red and he was sure that he was about to start breathing actual fire, like Bowser could. Sure enough, a jet of fire came streaming out of his mouth. "Hot chicken! HOT HOT HOT!"  
Bowser saw this play out and non-chalantly returned to chomping on his ham bone. "I see you found the chicken curry."  
"MOUTH! FIRE! CAN'T BREATHE!"  
"Quit bellyaching and drink a milkshake. That'll extinguish it."  
Dedede, shaking, reached for a huge strawberry milkshake. Putting the straw to his beak, he sucked down the entire thing within seconds. He breathed a sigh of relief. "My compliments to the chef."  
"I'll split your compliments between my twenty-five cooks."  
Dedede admired the massive dining room. With its long table and high ceiling if felt much like a cathedral. "Nice place you got here."  
"It's drafty and a pain to keep clean, but it's home to me and Junior."  
"Where is Junior, by the way?"  
"In his room. Kammy's babysitting him."  
The two kings looked at each other. "You know I don't think I ever asked... where did Junior come from?"  
Bowser searched his memory. "I donated to a local sperm bank a few years ago. By chance, a lesbian couple used my donation to have their own kid. But, when they found out I was the father, they decided they didn't want the kid in their home. Soon as he was born, they gave me full custody. I hadn't even thought about having kids before that moment, so I just named him Bowser Junior and that was that."  
"Yikes... that's rough."  
"I can't blame them. The kid certainly takes after his old man."  
"I'm seen him in enough fights to know that's true."  
"It's not like I'm raised him to be a brat. I've been trying my hardest to get him to behave but he just won't listen to me."  
Dedede was about to put another drumstick in his mouth, but stopped himself. "Is that why you kept kidnapping Peach? You just thought Junior needed a mom?"  
Bowser sighed. "I guess. In retrospect it wasn't a very great plan."  
Dedede thought on this briefly. "I hope you forgive me for being direct, but... you wanna bang after dinner?"  
Bowser stared at Dedede for about five seconds, before finally saying "Okay."  
Dedede grinned. "Dinner and a snack. My favorite." The King of Dreamland slowly put the drumstick in his mouth, sucking on it suggestively. Unfortunately, doing this caused his mouth to catch fire again. "OW HOT CHICKEN CURRY HOT HOT HOT!"  
Bowser smacked his forehead. "Why did you eat ANOTHER drumstick?"  
"I FORGOOOT!" cried Dedede, reaching for another milkshake.

About ten minutes later, Bowser and Dedede had finished dinner and made their way to the royal bedroom. Bowser told the guards to give him and 'D' some privacy, which they obliged.  
"So," said Bowser, "I guess we're doing this."  
Dedede had already removed his hat and coat. "You mind if I'm bottom?"  
Bowser, in turn started to take off his hat and started unbuttoning his tuxedo. "Not at all. I'm the top and don't you forget it."  
Dedede had, with almost impressive speed, stripped down to his bare ass. He giggled warmly at Bowser, who was still taking off his coat.  
"What's so funny?"  
"Sorry, I just... I want to savor this moment."  
"Why?"  
Dedede chuckled again. His belly and his big, round balls bounced rhythmically. "Because... for once in our lives, I'm naked, and YOU'RE wearing clothes!"  
Bowser lowered his brow. His Jacket and tie were now off, and he had just now unbuttoned his shirt and unzipped his pants. "Shut up and bend over."  
Dedede, still smiling, turned around and leaned over the bed. He shook his massive ass from side to side, his huge balls swinging like a pendulum. "Oh, absolutely, King Koopa, sir! I've been a bad penguin and I need to be spanked!"  
Bowser was not in the mood for antics right now. "I'm NOT spanking you, you overgrown toddler." Bowser, who had finally gotten off all of his clothes and accessories, stared at Dedede's ass and suddenly grinned mischievously. "I've got a better idea."  
Bowser got out a tub of lube from his bedside drawer. He scraped out a little blob of the substance, which he then smeared all over his right hand. Dedede looked on, a little concerned. "I think I know where that's going."  
"Oh you know EXACTLY where it's going. By the way, the safety word is baseball."  
Dedede got as far as "Base-" before Bowser punched his entire right hand into Dedede's asshole. The naked penguin felt an intense rush of pain and pleasure as the koopa kept pulling back and then going deeper into his rectum.  
Bowser found the penguin's ass to be surprisingly plushy, almost like a warm glove. "You like that, don't you, D?"  
Dedede could only moan with pleasure. He'd been fisted before, but never by a hand this massive. "I want... more..."  
Bowser plunged his fist even deeper. He had nearly slipped in up to his wrist. His plan was to see how much of Dedede's digestive system without hurting himself or his date. "I'm going in deeper."  
Dedede felt the hand push past his rectum. The pleasure he felt was no being overshadowed by the pain. "Baseball baseball BASEBALL!"  
Bowser slowly pulled his messy right hand out of poor Dedede's ass. Once the fist had finally come out, it made a noticeable popping sound. To his surprise, the hand was relatively clean for having been inside another man's butthole. "Has anyone ever told you that you have a very clean ass?"  
"I try to keep as much of myself clean as possible. Never know when you'll be talking to someone and suddenly they jam their fingers in your mouth or something like that."  
"Speaking of mouths, how well can you use yours?"  
Dedede grinned smugly. "Let's make a bet. If I can get you to cum, using only my mouth, in less than two minutes, you gotta give me a handy."  
"Two minutes? Ha! I'd like to see you try."  
Dedede got down on all fours and touched his beak to Bowser's still-flaccid dick. "Prepare to be blown."  
"...Away?"  
"That too." Dedede immediately went to town on Bowser's dick. The koopa king was not initially impressed but then his loins started to twitch. He was getting erect very quickly. The penguin's beak was working quickly. The tongue was going around his shaft so quickly it almost felt like a vibrator.  
"Ooooohh fuuucckk that's good." Bowser was in a state of near-euphoria. He could feel himself losing control. He was about to jizz right down Dedede's throat.  
The splash came quickly. Dedede kept his beak firmly where it was and gulped down all of it. "Mmm!" said Dedede, through a mouthful of dick. He leaned back, letting Bowser's cock go and rubbing his bloated belly. He hadn't even broken a sweat. "I'd say I won that little bet, huh?"  
Bowser was in shock. "Holy Miyamoto, that was amazing."  
"Now it's your turn."  
Bowser's senses came back to him. He was a little annoyed that D had caused him to bust a nut so quickly, but he'd be lying if he wasn't a little turned on by it as well. "Okay. If you want to cash in that handjob so quickly after you earned it, that's fine by me."  
Dedede sat on the bed and Bowser gripped his still slippery right hand around Dedede's dick. He started off slowly and gently, working his way up and down the penis until it started stiffening up and pulsing in his grip. Dedede was moaning with delight. "How many times have you done this?"  
"Including you?" said Bowser, rhetorically. "Once."  
"Wait, if I'm your- haaaah- first, then haaa-how are you so good at this?"  
Bowser smirked. "It's not that hard. It's just masturbating at a different angle."  
"Oh fuuu-huu-!" It didn't take long for Dedede to cum. The fluid sprayed onto Bowser's face, some even getting in his mouth.  
"Ah! For the love of- WARN me next time!"  
"Sorry... wait, you said next time!"  
Bowser's eyes widened. "Huh. I guess I did."  
"So when next week is good for you?"  
"Well, since I'm cancelling all of my kidnapping plans, I'd say next Friday night just opened up."

The goomba and koopa housekeepers were a little reluctant at first to clean up the mess, but Bowser had opted to give them a raise and any complaints they had about cleaning up their boss' sexual escapades were quickly snuffed out. After cleaning off his hands, Bowser put his tux away. Dedede was cleaned up and dressed back up in his usual attire. The night still wasn't over, however, as Bowser decided to make one stop before showing Dedede out.  
Junior was still upset about his video game ban. But, in the middle of his sulking, a knock came on his door. Junior could hear his dad relieving Kammy Koopa of her duty. He refused to look back at the door.  
"Son, are you okay?"  
"No!" said Junior, actively trying to be upset.  
"Look, I'm sorry about the game ban, That was a bit harsh. But you understand why I did it?"  
"Because I did something wrong and you wanted to punish me for it. I'm not an idiot."  
"Look, I just wanted to tell you something."  
"Is it about where babies come from? Because I already figured that out."  
"No, not that. You remember King Dedede?"  
"No."  
"The big penguin guy?"  
"Oh, yeah. I remember him. Why?"  
Dedede walked over, placing his giant mitten on Junior's shoulder. "Nice to see you again, boy."  
Junior was a bit surprised. He liked Dedede, but didn't expect to see him in his room. "What are you doing here?"  
"Your father and I were having dinner. We've decided to start dating."  
Junior thought about this for a second. "Oh, okay. Can I call you penguin dad from now on?"  
Dedede smiled. "I'd like that."  
"Okay, penguin dad."  
Bowser cut in. "Oh, and one more thing, Junior..." He presented Bowser junior with his Nintendo Switch console. "I'm lifting the video game ban."  
Junior's mood had instantly improved. "Yay! Thank you dad!"  
"One condition, though."  
Junior stopped celebrating and listened to his dad.  
"I don't want you starting any more fights. I know my conscience isn't exactly clear on this one, but you should never fight with someone unless you have a good reason."  
"What do you mean a good reason?"  
"If someone bothers you once, just don't acknowledge them. If someone bothers you twice, tell them to stop. If they don't stop, that's when you fight. But only if you can't find a teacher or someone else who can help. And the second they stop fighting, you stop fighting too. If you have to resort to bad behavior, you should be fair, not cruel. Do you understand?"  
"I... think I do."  
Dedede sat down with Junior. "I know school can be tough. And you have to be tough to get through it. But being tough doesn't make you a bad kid. Being cruel would make you a bad kid."  
Junior started crying small tears. "I- I'm sorry, dad. He called me a freak..."  
Bowser patted Junior on the back. "I understand. Just don't let it happen again. And the next time you see the kid, just tell him you're sorry for breathing fire on him. Ask him if you can make it up to him."  
Junior nodded. "Okay. I will."  
Bowser handed the Switch back to Junior, who hugged him in return. He and Dedede both hugged him softly, said goodnight and made their way to the doors of the castle.

"Not bad," said Dedede. "You got him to listen to you."  
"Wouldn't have worked without you to calm him down."  
"I think you're giving me too much credit."  
"Well, it's been a long night, you should probably get back home to Dreamland."  
"I'll be sure to come visit often. Thanks, Bowser. Tonight was nice."  
"Say hello to your harem for me."  
Dedede grinned. He was about to head back home on his warpstar, but then turned back to Bowser. "You don't mind, do you? I mean, I'll still be fucking my fair share of men and women."  
"As long as we're still together in spirit, I couldn't care less who you fuck."  
"Thanks. You know, me, Kirby and Meta Knight host an all-inclusive orgy every Saturday night. You could come with if you want."  
"I'll... think about it."  
Dedede hopped on his warpstar and it flew away at the speed of sound. Bowser looked up, tempted to make a wish on the shooting star. But he figured enough of his wishes had come true today and he just went straight to bed.


End file.
